Photograph: Roger ToothThis time of the year always reminds me of when I plunged to the depths of my chocolate addiction. This little event took place about 10 or 11 years ago.
For years, I nagged Patrick to surprise me with a box of high-end valentine confections. When he finally got the hint, I happened to be on the Atkins diet.
I hadn't tasted sugar in months. Shock came over my face as I unwrapped my gift - of all times to hit me up with these creamy confections? I had no will power. I felt like Edward Cullen, sitting next to Bella Swan in Biology class. My eyes turned black and I couldn't contain the yearning to BITE.
I stayed firm and calmly set the box aside. I decided to do the dishes as a way to quietly debate my dilemma. To scarf or not to scarf? I know you're thinking - "just a nibble", but when you haven't had the hard stuff in weeks and then it's under your nose - the concept of "nibble" does not exist. "Gobble" takes over. I contemplated my options while Patrick went to the other room with our kids and my mother-in-law.
I thought maybe I could handle a nibble if I prepped myself first.
My mind raced. I knew if I ate just one piece, my diet would certainly crash and burn. You know that split-second turning point when you eat junk, there is no turning back? Regardless, a devilish voice in my head said,
"It's a gift, silly. A nibble won't hurt."
"NO waaay!" I said out loud. I grabbed the box and shoved it into the kitchen trash.
My hands trembled as I scrubbed the countertop. "Just a nibble . . . " I innocently thought.
Next thing I knew, I had my hands in the trash. I ripped off the lid and popped a truffle in my mouth. I closed my eyes and began to sway from the smooth, dark, decadence. I hadn't even finished it, yet had one more on deck.
All of a sudden the voice of a child brought me back to reality. My child.
"Mommy, why are you eating out of the garbage?" my son asked.
"Oh!" I laughed while wiping away the drool, "It's not what it looks like, sweetie!"
Yikes. I noticed my mother-in-law and husband had also witnessed my dirty deed.
"Were you just eating those candies out of the trash?" my mother-in-law asked.
"No, please let me explain," I cried. "The top of the box was still on them and . . . "
"Kathy!" said Patrick. "Why did you throw my present away?"
I ended up taking the box out of the trash and we all ate the chocolates together!
Peace, love, and glitter!
Kathy :-)
P.S. Check out my new book and product line!
6 comments:
Love it whenever I can make a Twilight reference in a story I'm telling too. =)
...you freaking threw 'em away?! Good thing you came to your senses and ate from the trash! ;-)
Hilarious, for a minute I thought I was reading your book, which I might add, almost done and its a really good book, thanks for the gift. I don't do the diet thing anymore I just make better choices and Chocolate is not a choice I make....I'm an addict to chocolate and coffee so yeah!! to you. Enjoy life and Chocolate you deserve it, especially from all the hard work of CHA...LOL
Now that is a good story. You are a very creative writer. I could visualize each moment. That may have something to do with my own love of/obsession with chocolate. chocolate. chocolate. I really don't understand the throwing the box in the trash thing though. I cried when I read this. Real tears. Without chocolate, there would be no reason for getting up in the morning.
LOL I could picture you in mid chew getting caught! Thanks for the laugh. Your not helping me with my diet one bit.
KAthy ~ roflol I think that was an episode of sienfeld! Ah chocolate such an overpowering evil. :) I wish all evil was like chocolate!
luvs and glitter
~jen
I almost choked reading this. Caught eating out of the trash by a little one. At least they all came round and joined you.
Too funny.
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